Narclaw:
Well, Gears 2 multiplayer just plain sucks, period. Though horde is a ton of fun if you're playing with just friends. As for the weapons, I've never really thought much about it. If there was one weapon I'd consider noobish, it would be the chainsaw.

Took the words right out of my mouth. I loved Gears 1, but the multiplayer in Gears 2 is just plan bad.

I wish moving house sounded that fun.

Right first off, ignore the guy who mentioned Guy Ritchie, you can make the comic have an English tone far far better than that.
Another thing, the bored underachiever has been done a lot. then again you can use this as a point of self-reference and intelligent parody (yes it does exsist).
Also lots of people talk to their pets, so he won't necesserily be caught out quickly with the wonder cat. Build on the relationship between the animal and it's master, but don't do the cliched route of the animal being in charge. Go for something a little different.
One last thing, if it smells of cheese, make cheese on toast!